Apparently it's set centuries before Star Wars the movies, not that it seems to matter, because every period in the Star Wars canon seems pretty interchangeable.
Have you guessed already that I'm talking about The Old Republic, BioWare's big, fancy, Star Wars-branded hat it's throwing into the MMORPG ring to get mauled by World of Warcraft like they always are? It could be considered a follow up to BioWare's Knights of the Old Republic single-player RPGs (they had to shorten the title so as not to alienate all the people role-playing lollipop ladies and dentists and whatever).Īfter a couple of cinematics depicting dull, ridiculously over-choreographed lightsaber fighting (since Star Wars is still forced to carry the attitude of the prequel movies around with it like a child dragging his stillborn Siamese twin), we find ourselves in the world of the Old Republic. You'd almost think a game that operates on a subscription service is deliberately trying to drag its runtime out, like Dennis Hopper set it to explode if it ever drops below slow walking pace. I'd love to discuss how the Republic trooper campaign and combat mechanics compare to the Sith babysitter campaign and combat mechanics, but it took me most of the time I had available just to get through one character's fucking prologue section. So yes, once again this review of an MMO will be more of a "first impressions" video.
Especially when I only have a week! It's like having to write the Lonely Planet guide to Belgium when all you did was eat a waffle and fall asleep in a gutter in Bruges. Christing McBollockwaffles, do I hate reviewing MMORPGs.